My heart aches as it does everytime theirs does. I feel what they feel. When they hurt I hurt. They always ask why is it I try so hard to hide what i feel deep inside with a smile on the outside yet they know I'm tearing up inside. So many nights I hold them as they cry @ night & wait for them to fall asleep. So many times they ask questions, I'm not able to answer. A man who once had everything now has nothing more than a wife who prays nightly as she tries to lay dwn for the night, for a husband to come home & love her as she had always hoped he would. A wife who's not ready to let go, who holds on by the thinnest of threads. She opens her heart every night as she prays to the lord for her husband to return, the tears fall frantically from her face. Years have passed, she still prays in hopes that her prayers will be answered. She searches for signs deep within her soul, she sees none. Only notices a song that plays everytime she turns on tha radio or chances the station. She hears the lyrics & knows every word by heart tho doesn't wanna believe that's the sign in which is tryin' to be given.her children pray things will be better than before. That their daddy will soon come home, love them just as much if not more so than those of the other womans. For they are blood of his blood & the others are not. How can one preach what they don't believe in or practice themselves? they ask their mother. Shouldn't one only say what they truly believe in or what comes from deep within their heart? This woman has come along way, raising her children on her own. She's instilled many great qualities in which this world seemingly lacks in todays society. they are mature beyond their yrs. They've not yet lived half the life, in which their mother has, in her young age. She only wishes, prays & hopes to give them the things she always dreamed of giving her children when she was a child.
Estranged housewife, mother of three, nothing but the love she has for her children & the hopes, desires that her husband will soon come home. She has forgivin him for all that he has done. Tho others critisize her & tell her she should do otherwise. It's not within her heart nor her soul. She so wants him to feel the pain in which she feels deep inside, to feel the love her soul holds towards him. She no longer carries only the pain from within her heart, but the pain that comes from within her childrens hearts. So much pain, sorrow and sadness dwellin within. She no longer knows how to cope. She seeks for a shoulder to cry upon, an ear to hear her speak, an arm to lift her up and hold her at night. Many men persue her, tho she pushes them all away. Her heart & soul desires & yearns for the only one she loves. The one she promised to take care of for the remainder of her life. For richer or poorer, through sickness & in health, till death do they truly part. Her mind tells her to do one thing, tho her heart another. A continious battle within oneself setting none other than ultimate confussion. Entire life she's been told, to always follow her heart, as she has done just that. mind over matter, heart over all. the pain that dwells within is overcoming. She often thinks of the dark angel for an easy ending. Tho feels as if there's a hand wrapped around her wrist for protection. For what reason , she doesn't understand. only prays that God would make the suffering soon come to an end.